I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
