how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Redeem this text for a blowjob
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Randomize
