i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize
