i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Randomize
