they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
is wine microwaveable?
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
