grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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