remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
