I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
