think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
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