Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
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