i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
