I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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