it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Randomize
