Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
As shirtless as possible
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Randomize
