Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
