I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
