If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Randomize