Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize