People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
You ruined the universe
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Randomize
