You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
