whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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