Yo dont text me then not text me
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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