It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
