The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
