I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Randomize
