my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
