Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
