oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
