I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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