you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
