The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Semen is not good for contacts.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
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