So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
