Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Randomize
