is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
