I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
