You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
