that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize