There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
