remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize
