You're my little dorito
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize