Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
