I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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