You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
