I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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