am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
