Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
