After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
