Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize
