ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
