I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
