Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
