Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
