pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
