I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
FUCK WHALES
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
