well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
