Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
