Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I forgot how hot balto sounded
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
