I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
