My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize