what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
