btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize